30/04/01 17:51 - Mr Brighton
Subject: Relative Comfort!

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I'm related to Amber through sofa's! Can any other items of furniture legitimately claim to be related to members of the band? Only serious upholstery, coffee tables, dining sets, woodlice e.t.c. need apply. 

Ben says: Well, Mr Brighton, it would be a 'chair' delight and only 'fitting' that I 'furnish' you with an answer. To relax while washing my clothes, I will often screw a poof down onto my stool, and, whilst sinking into a couple of cushions, I'll retrieve a load from my tallboy. Does that help?

30/04/01 13:13 - Josh MacNab
Subject: EP

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How many copies of the cd have you sold? 

Jonni Says: Can someone please reply to Joshs' question!(Hi Josh)

30/04/01 09:13 - Mr Delectable
Subject:  Relations with Amber

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Me and Amber are related through drink and blancmange

Amber Says: Mmmmm blancmange!

30/04/01 12:04 - Ben
Subject:  A truely cracking EP

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Hey people just want to say that I loved the EP it truely left me wanting more and the need to seek out a live gig. Have you got any plans to bring out more stuff in the near future.

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27/04/01 19:37 - Sienna Coyle
Subject:  hi!!me again

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Penny said that ur throat was still really bad amber so I thought I wuld say hope it gets better, cya!!

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27/04/01 19:37 - Jonathan Cantona Di Canio MacNab
Subject:  Relatively speaking!

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In response to Sienna Coyle's nepotistic claims to be in some spurious way related to Amber(26.04.01), well I am Ben's brother. Top trumps! Can any other readers legitimately claim to be related to members of the band? Only serious mothers, fathers, siblings, woodlice e.t.c. need apply. 

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26/04/01 13:28 - Sienna Coyle
Subject:  Hey me again!

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Hello you lot, I just thought i wud answer Benji's Question.... I'm Ambers Cousin... the one that she visited the other day... Hey Amber! well better go cos im typing this instead of doing my geography cos im at school at the moment, Cya!

23/04/01 19:58 - Sienna Coyle, aged 13
(aka: Vishnu Momokrishna Patel)

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Hey all of you lot!!  Case u didn't know, amber knows who i am so don't get freaked out by this message, just wondered which is every members favourite song on the cd??? well mine is Discretion... better go now, look forward to hearing from u lot. 

Paul says: Kids TV

Jonni says: Hello Sienna, What a beautiful name you have! My favourite track is Discretion too, I like playing that one the best
as well. How do you know Amber?

Benji says: Hole in my head. Who is this person?

Amber says: My favourite song is Kids TV.

Ben says: Hi Sienna. I'm glad you liked the CD. Personally, I like the sound of Hole in my Head the best on it, but I enjoy playing Kids TV the most, because I get to pretend that I can play.

14/04/01 14:32 - Lord & Lady Horatio Cavendish
Subject: pretencious little gits

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Dear Band,   I wish to congratulate you on your meteoric rise to fame and fortune and we hope to see much more of you in any one of the north's fine working men's clubs. I do however have one concern which is the inclusion of a rather tasteless "comedy" character that is to say the gay man with a wig. You may think this is funny but please be aware that his appearance in any of the formentioned venues will result in sound beatings for all concerned. Thank you for your time. Kiss, Kiss, Hug, Hug.

Thanks for your humbling mail, and I can only apologise for the distaste you felt towards "The Gay Man in a Wig", sometimes 'fame and fortune', as you so accurately put it, can often lead the most sane of men to the most unlikely 
of lifestyles.

Unlike your lifestyle, which has inevitably led you to crave attention from anybody that will listen. With regards to the proposed 'sound beatings' you talk of, I would like to cancel those out with the hugs and kisses you left at the end of your message, therefore rendering your mail pointless and very very strange.  

T and B Forever.